Wellbeing makes us feel safe
Did you know is that our inner sense of wellbeing is what makes us feel safe? I think this is a pretty important piece of info in these times of rapid change and eruptions of all kinds of freaking violence all around us. Worries and fears are so widespread that feeling safe might seem elusive. It’s a big thing. And it’s attainable.
Building up our own inner sense of safety is in fact vital for anything we set out to do successfully. Therefore feeling well should be our number one priority – I mean really on top of the entire list.
Especially among audiences of women in the Middle East this approach still comes across as promoting egoism, however, luckily more and more people realize that it has nothing to do with promoting selfishness. In fact it has been validated by scientific research. It is therefore safe to say that feeling well is actually the best possible contribution to all the people around us.
Apart from that, feeling good about our life and our selves is vital for maintaining good health. The more relaxed and content we are, the better the results we get in all areas of life. There are many reasons why wellbeing deserves to be our top priority, however, feeling safe seems like the biggie to me.
When people experience a lack of safety, they are unable to deal effectively with life. Something collapses within them. This is something we could observe very well where I live, in Egypt, during the 2011 revolution and its aftermath.
Fears about safety cause a lot of constant stress. Without a sense of safety there is no vitality or fuel for balanced growth and success, says author William Bloom in his book: Feeling Safe: “To feel safe you must find a way to do the things you enjoy.”
He encourages people to learn what he succinctly calls the chemistry of pleasure: “Every time you linger in pleasure and truly appreciate it, you do something immensely good for your health.”
Cultivating inner states of ease or appreciation doesn’t only feel good. According to 20 years of research undertaken by the Institute of HeartMath it activates the self-healing capacity of our bodies and allows our entire system to function at its best. And it’s easy.
Most people who come to me for Life Coaching sessions are seeking a way out of thinking and behaving that keep them stuck, frustrated and deeply unhappy. Most people say that they feel very stressed – in one area of their lives or another. They complain from a huge sense of being under constant pressure. And essentially they just all want to feel better.
In fact, most goals we set are ultimately aiming at making us feel more content, fulfilled and happy as a result.
What I do as a professional coach is to figure out what people appreciate, what they are good at, what they love to do, what puts a smile on their faces. And then it’s about finding ways through asking questions that could motivate them to consistently do more of it.
One great way of doing this is to reconnect to childlike playfulness that is still somewhere inside us. This in itself brings out a sense of more vitality and joy into our lives. This courage to be silly and laugh about anything for no reason is at the heart of Laughter Yoga.
Our emotions are meant to set us in motion, to get us going. They can usually be felt in the body. Feeling fearful or safe is grounded in the actual physical sensation.
The experience of safety is to feel physical relaxation and ease. To experience fear and insecurity is to feel physical tension and anxiety. This shows up in symptoms ranging from tense muscles, headaches, stiffness, sweaty palms, diarrhea, blinking, stuttering, explosive tension, exhaustion, fidgeting, anxious stomach, clinching in the chest, and so on. You can easily observe what your body is telling you about your emotions.
What it all boils down to is making a conscious choice between frozen toxins of too much adrenaline and cortisol blocking your system versus an attainable comfy feeling of well-being and pleasant flow.
Which one of these states do you prefer? And what can you do every day to feel just a bit better? Those are important questions to ask if you would like to feel more safe and happy. 🙂